This post will involve horse racing but it is a bit of a deviation from what I normally write about on this blog.

My grandma, who I was very close to, passed away one year ago today. I know the traditional wisdom is with time comes healing. And many also say how as one gets older time flies.

As this anniversary of her passing approached, I found a multitude of thoughts winging through my mind. In a way I suppose that is fitting.

Life itself can be a jumble of experiences at times and grief can bring that to the forefront.

In a way, that means that I’m not even certain I have fully processed what her not being here means. Shortly after she passed I would still find myself wanting to reach for the phone and call her – she had been in many ways a beacon of truth (even if it was something one didn’t like to hear, there was love behind it) and understanding. She truly was like a rock in our family, someone to count on.

It’s been a while since the impulse to call her has struck but then just a few days ago it came back. It’s always unexpected and for a few seconds there will be that leap of anticipation at getting to talk to her before reality intrudes again.

Maybe what I am now is more wistful that she is not here to go visit or talk to and that is what I can feel when I see places she used to be or that we used to go. But I think wistful is another kind of sad. Not as intense but still some of grief’s echo.

Recalling how time can fly means I find it hard to believe one year has passed already for something I initially didn’t know how to process. But then again I don’t think grief is ever something to process. I think that the best a person can hope for is to find a way to incorporate that in memory and hopefully realize that whoever is gone will never fully be gone.

When my family took a Christmas photo together last year, because I was thinking of my grandma so much during the time that photo was taken, I felt like she was there with me.

It seems to me that a person who passes away goes through the last great frontier a being can cross. While we can never know for sure what is on the other side I do believe that energy cannot fully dissipate. I believe our loved ones are still around in some form, even if that form is only memory and caring forward a love that was shared.

My grandma chose a caring profession of social work and that was a caring that was evident to everyone who knew her. I was touched at some point in the year after her passing to realize an acquaintance had her as a social worker at some point in his life and that she made a strong impact on him through the course of that work.

She did pass away on Memorial Day, which in a way seems fitting and perhaps a bit ironic. Although I don’t truly like to use the word ironic because that seems to make the light of the circumstances. Perhaps that just means I am still trying to sort out my thoughts.

As this anniversary approached I did find a lot of memories of her naturally coming to mind.

I am grateful that they were more about the moments I shared with her and not as much the day of her passing. While some part of that will linger in my mind it is better to have more of her life as a whole to be what filters through.

When one of my cats of 13 years passed away I didn’t want the sadness at his passing to override the joy I felt sharing a life with him and that is the same way I feel about my grandma. I know grieving is necessary and therapeutic to process emotions but I also never want to let what an entire life meant to be overshadowed by one day.

There is a quote on the wall of the 9/11 Museum in New York that says, “no single day shall erase you from the memory of time,” and I think that is an important quote for anyone who has lost someone to take to heart.

When some of the memories recently came sweeping over me they were initially when my cousin’s young daughter was playing in a lobby of the facility where my grandma lived and how she brought a brightness to a time that was also very somber. Isn’t that like the yin and yang of life and also how it’s illustrative that a person’s legacy does carry on through their family?

This was the first time I met this young girl who lives far from here. She is my cousin once removed, and as young children will do she had a joy for life and a yen to pretend. She entertained me and several other family members while she played restaurant, particularly when she notified us that her restaurant was a carrot restaurant. When we placed our orders with her for her pretend food, keeping in mind that it was a carrot restaurant I requested a carrot cake. Even though that was the first time I ever met her she actually took that to heart. Her mom told me later that when they went to the grocery store during that time they were here to be at my grandma’s side, her daughter wanted them to buy a carrot cake for me. I was so moved and in that I saw that a lot of the love my grandma had for her family was carried forward in another of her descendants.

Whenever things were going on where it was prudent that this young cousin needed to be out of the room where my grandma was that was done. At one point I went out to comfort her and that may have been when we first talked about the carrot cake as I dove back into the game of the carrot restaurant.

When we had to go to the funeral home, she had a coloring book and was sitting near me. I engaged with her while she cut out items and I was again touched when she gave me a page from her coloring book. It made such a difference to have her there with everything else that was going on.

Those were some of the memories going through my mind and then it was natural to think of how I would have enjoyed telling my grandma about the carrot restaurant and how she would have laughed and that too made me smile instead of feel sad that I couldn’t tell her that story.

Many times I have thought maybe somehow somewhere she still knows what is going on with her family and even if she doesn’t I can still send that out into the universe with all the love I have for her.

More thoughts came to mind that were not about the time when she was leaving this life. They were about her hospitality when I still lived in Kentucky and came back to Tennessee for visits. She had bought a large house and I would sometimes stay in one of its spare rooms. In this room she had photos on the wall that she had carried from place to place of her children and grandchildren.

My grandma was greatly skilled at things like knitting and quilting. She had made an elaborate quilt at some point in her life that was so well made it looks like it could have come from a machine, custom produced instead of handmade. I am in awe of the skill and time it must have taken to do that.

I bring this up because it probably is what led her to place these photos of family members on a backdrop of fabric with ribbon placed throughout it that made a frame around each photo she placed on there. Looking at those pictures in that room and several other rooms she had placed them in throughout her life gave me a sense of continuity, a family legacy and reminded me of how she probably thought of that too when she placed them all together.

Also on that bed in her spare room that I would sometimes sleep in was the quilt she had made. When she was paring down her belongings to get ready to move to the last home she would have she realized she was ready to pass on that quilt and she had taped a note to it that said it was for one of her children or grandchildren. I was grateful to get to be the recipient of that quilt and she told me that it is one that can be washed but I’m not even putting it on a bed. It feels like a heirloom and a memory, even though it can be used in a practical way.

Another memory that came to mind was on the day that she passed when I and several family members went to the Airbnb where my aunt was staying to regroup.

One of the horses I had a microshare in was scheduled to race that day. I remember sitting by my uncle on the couch while my young cousin (once removed, yes, but that seems too formal to keep calling her) introduced us to her stuffed animals nearby. It was again soothing to me to see the innocence and joy of a young child at play.

It felt a little odd to watch a horse race during that time and I wondered if it would seem disrespectful. I don’t remember if I started out with it muted or if I ever turned the volume up slightly as we all sat around quietly.

I couldn’t resist the impulse to watch the race even though my thoughts about it were not with a level of anticipation I would have usually had, understandably. I do remember my uncle sitting beside me did say something about horse racing as I watched it. When the horse I’d invested in won the race that day it again seem like a reminder of the yin and yang of life. The sadness existing alongside some of the happiness it can contain. And perhaps also fittingly and maybe also a bit ironically is that the horse I invested in who won that day is named A Day to Remember.

So now a year has gone by. I will spend time with my mom today and I’m sure we will reminisce.

A Day to Remember himself has recently been retired but he will go to a good home. That is one thing that matters the most to me about MyRacehorse. As a microshare investor I knew I would not have any say in where a horse goes upon retirement, although some of the microshare investors that have horse experience actually have ended up owning some of the racehorses they invested in.

Since I know personally will never be in a position to do that, what really stood out to me the most is that MyRacehorse has a commitment to good aftercare for the horses they’ve invested in. Even if they don’t own them at the time they retire from racing, they still keep tabs on them.

So yes, time marches on and sometimes it does seem to go by faster and faster.

My oldest nephew recently finished his third year of college, another milestone that has me wondering where the time went.

This time next year we will be at his college graduation and I know there will be a part of me that will think my grandma is there in spirit too.

I used to talk to her about racing, even though like everyone else in my family she doesn’t have much of a level of interest in it. But she would listen because it mattered to me.

That’s how she always was. If it mattered to us, her family, or something was bothering us she always would listen. Things that she said stay with me.

And I suppose that is the best legacy anyone could hope for.

The path to 2026 Kentucky Derby glory ultimately ran through a legacy that stretched nearly as long as that of the storied race itself, with the Phipps’ family’s century-long involvement in racing once more bearing fruit. In the post-race winners’ press conference, the importance of being able to draw upon the Phipps family legacy of foundation mares was cited.

But before that moment arrived, Golden Tempo himself was a little lost in the shuffle. This is not to say he didn’t have Derby-worthy credentials. He came into the race a Grade 3 winner and with stakes placings in higher-level graded stakes races on the Derby prep trail.

The star power of Renegade, the flashy 11-length triumph in the Blue Grass Stakes that Further Ado notched were perhaps diverting enough to take focus from Golden Tempo. The heartwarming story of So Happy, racing from the Mark Glatt stable just a few months after the unexpected passing of his wife, also drew a lot of media coverage.

But Golden Tempo’s team had faith in him and his ability and Cherie DeVaux said after the race that they were there for the horse, not for their egos. He brought them there, and he took them all the way to a pinnacle of racing glory. It was beautiful to see what a cohesive team they are.

Any Kentucky Derby has the potential to be a roller-coaster of a race. The 152^nd edition seemed to almost have more than its share, all coalescing to make for quite the exciting moments shortly prior to post time and on to the finish line.

Great White, a horse who garnered attention for his massive 17.2 hand size, perhaps was rattled by the crowd or the noise of the largest group of people he or any of the other runners would ever appear before in a race. He reared skyward, and physics took over, bringing him on his side on the track near the starting gate. Fortunately, he didn’t hit his head and also just avoided his jockey Alex Achard, also on the ground, as he got back to his feet. Quickly grabbed by a nearby outrider, and without ample time to evaluate him after a hard fall, he was prudently scratched. It was the right decision for the best interest of the colt, but I could sense the palpable disappointment of Achard through the screen So close to the chance of riding his first Kentucky Derby ever, over on the cusp of beginning.

That scratch prompted a reorganization, with horses already loaded in the gate backed out as post position numbers were rearranged. Reloaded, they were off!

Renegade, in post position one, was nearly slammed sideways by the momentum of the horses to his outside. Even with that, he robustly held his ground as much as possible and held on to keep surging forward.

Further Ado, with the flashiest margins of victory of any in the field, also appeared to get into a bumper car type situation coming out of the gate, so common in this race.

He was one of three co-favorites at post time, indicating even the bettors weren’t certain there was a clear contender to be most likely to wear the roses.

And when the finish line approached, it seemed a bit like a free-for-all and more of what made it quite a roller coaster. Wonder Dean, one of two Japanese contenders, looked well-poised to give Japan its first Kentucky Derby victory. Then, improbably, the maiden Ocelli took over the lead and for a wild few seconds he looked like victory would be his.

Then at last it all became clear, as Golden Tempo finished his charge from the back of the field and held off Renegade for the victory. Trainer Cherie DeVaux and her family were beside themselves with joy and elation, and so was the colt’s jockey Jose Ortiz.

Before the race, Donna Barton was the only NBC analyst to pick Golden Tempo. It is her last Kentucky Derby broadcast and she mentioned how she would like to see a female trainer win.

As she spoke to Ortiz aboard Golden Tempo on the way to the winners’ circle, the emotion hit him strongly. Eleven Kentucky Derby rides and his first win in the storied race. Even more than winning the race, thoughts of his family made it emotional. He said he wished his grandfather could be there, but knew he was watching from heaven. It was an echo of Calvin Borel years ago saying he wished his mother and father could be there to see what he’d made of his life, and as someone who lost a beloved family member less than a year ago, I understand so well the emotion that can hit when milestones and time march on without a integral person to share them with. And the desire to think that somewhere, somehow, they still know.

While Cherie DeVaux waited to greet Ortiz and Golden Tempo, heralding her as the first victorious female trainer in the Kentucky Derby began. She acknowledged that by saying, “I’m glad I can be a representative of all women everywhere, that we can do anything we set our minds to.”

That was a great perspective to have. Winning the Derby, even with her being the first female trainer to do so adds another historic accomplishment to the race, is a trainer achievement above all, regardless of gender.

I myself have often wondered at the under-representation of women in many facets of racing in areas where it shouldn’t be unexpected to see them especially in a sport that has had centuries to keep pace with women pursuing career goals.

One of DeVaux’s responses to a media question in the post-race press conference spoke a bit to the heart of why that might be. She said, “The racetrack’s a tough place. It’s a tough place if you’re a man. It’s a tough place if you’re a woman. The thing that has really become apparent to me is not everyone has the same constitution as I have, mentally and it really is an honor to be able to be that person for other women or girls to look up to. You know, you can dream big and you can pivot. You can come from one place and make yourself a part of history.”

Reflecting upon that statement and my own stints of working at the racetrack I see perfectly how that aligns with anyone taking home the elusive Kentucky Derby trophy is a demanding endeavor indeed. Days as a racing journalist are long. Days as a racetrack photographer are long. While they are not as much on the front lines as being a trainer or a jockey, a groom or an exercise rider, it is still all a part of the same day. Follow the racing circuits. Miss family milestones, family dinners, travel constantly. I have been a hotwalker too and away from the track mucked out stalls and fed horses. I’ve been up at 5 a.m. To be at the track to hotwalk. And I was actually thrilled to do it. I’ve seen how some grooms live, 3 in a small tack room for the duration of a meet. It does take a lot of focus and dedication. It takes a passion.

When I think of all of that, I can see why day in and day out, year in and year out, it may be hard indeed for people of any gender to keep going, especially to find the path to historic glory. That is definitely what the Kentucky Derby is, as DeVaux said, whether one is a man or a woman.

It really does take a team, and planning, and luck. And also it is wonderful that a woman did finally achieve this. It is wonderful to have that representation for women and girls who want to dream big. Sometimes seeing someone similar to them achieve such a feat (and even not sugarcoating the challenges) can be all it takes to inspire more to try to emulate her path.

Daisy Phipps Pulito, also in the post-race interview, answered a reporter’s question about why she chose DeVaux to train Golden Tempo and a few other of their horses. “I love the way she works with horses. I love the way she develops a horse… We thought Golden Tempo would be a great match and it was.”

She also noted that she was familiar with DeVaux from prior association through racing, and that living in Kentucky meant she could observe her train and fully assess if she would fit with some of the Phipps horses.

Especially on a golden Saturday in May, how well she could fit with a Phipps horse shone. They did indeed find a matching tempo.

On January 17, 2025, Caldera made his 3-year-old debut in a maiden special weight at Oaklawn Park, where he romped by 5 ½ lengths while he was wearing blinkers for the first time. His trainer D. Wayne Lukas felt the colt merited a chance at a stakes race and the possibility of accruing Kentucky Derby points. With that in mind, Caldera targeted the Sunland Derby. His game second place finish to graded stakes winner Getaway Car gave him 10 points for the Kentucky Derby. While that was not enough to make it into the field for the classic, Lukas noted that Caldera was still learning. He had told Randy Moss before the Sunland Derby that Caldera “greets me at the front of the stall every morning eager to train. He’s got a bright future.”

After Caldera stumbled at the start in the Louisiana Derby and grabbed a quarter, Lukas opted to run him in the April 19 Bathhouse Stakes at Oaklawn Park for his next start. While the colt jogged sound coming out of the Louisiana Derby, he realized the Blue Grass Stakes that he had considered was coming up tough. The Bathhouse Stakes would give him the chance to run in either the Preakness Stakes or the Sir Barton Stakes. While Caldera placed second there in another game effort that echoed his attempt at the Sunland Derby, Lukas determined Caldera would benefit from a break from the track. He spent several months at a farm, returning to Lukas’ barn at Ellis Park in June 2025. Lukas expected his return to fitness wouldn’t take long.

Near the end of June, MyRacehorse provided the update to Caldera’s microshare holders that “D.Wayne Lukas has unfortunately been battling a severe infection and will not be returning to training. He will be spending his remaining time with his family… Mr. Lukas has been a key part of the MyRacehorse stable in recent years, and we are so honored to have worked with such an incredible horseman and human being. Our hearts go out to the entire Lukas family and his team.”

I reiterated those thoughts – a main reason I invested in Caldera was to read some of Lukas’ training insights and thoughts about a specific horse, after watching him succeed on major race days on TV broadcasts. It was a gift to know I had a little stake in a horse under his care.

Bas Nicholl, a long-term Lukas assistant trainer, took over the day-to-day training operations and he reported on June 28 that Caldera would need more time off than he’d just had, seeming to have bone bruising. It was not a major issue, but would require time.

That same June evening, a remarkable life concluded. D. Wayne Lukas passed away with family at his side. Much has been written about his legacy, and that lingers in the minds of many.

Part of that story, even in a minor way, will be shaping Caldera’s future. When the colt was getting close to a return to the track in November 2025, MyRacehorse selected Saffie Joseph Jr. to be his next trainer, believing his training style would fit Caldera well.

In February this year, MyRacehorse mentioned “Saffie Joseph, Jr. is a trainer who typically gives horses an ample amount of morning workouts before considering them race ready.”

That foundation paid off well (even with a bit of a wait for races to fill and be carded that suited the colt) when Caldera won convincingly in an April 30 allowance claiming race at Gulfstream Park. Though he ran a bit erratically near the wire (possibly a reaction to the whip), he still cruised home with a final margin of victory of 6 ¼ lengths. It was almost exactly a year since his previous start, in a year where he gathered 10 Kentucky Derby points. Even though it was not in the cards for him to be a Derby contender, coming back with a win like he did further shows the promise D. Wayne Lukas saw in him has not dimmed. There should be plenty of blue sky ahead for Caldera, and the hope of a promising horse is wonderful.

With Kentucky Derby day nearly upon us, there are 20 horses vying for that chance at the promise of winning that classic. It brings to mind the apt quote about “the chance of a lifetime in a lifetime of chance.”

So Happy, from Mark Glatt’s barn, has garnered a lot of attention for getting his trainer to the race on the heels of his wife’s unexpected passing. It’s a feel-good story in the making.

Further Ado has also generated a lot of buzz, with impressive margins of victory in two races at Keeneland, including the Blue Grass Stakes most recently.

Bob Baffert stood trackside to watch his charges train, wearing a black cowboy hat and with a visage a bit more weathered. In a way, it seemed like an echo of Lukas still at the track.

The stage is nearly set for the Kentucky Derby, one of the greatest days in racing. Here’s to safe trips for all!

And it is in many ways a part of the legacy of D. Wayne Lukas, when he reached one more time for that Derby starting gate with Caldera. And he knew that it was part of the dreams this sport can inspire, when he mentioned his Classic success with Seize the Grey drew in a lot of additional investors to Caldera. He will be remembered for many Derbies to come.